Friendly Advice
by EverDreamer
Summary: Reiner tells Ymir that he thinks Christa is perfect and wants to ask her out, so Ymir gives him some friendly advice. High School AU. Ymir x Christa. Implied Annie x Mikasa. One-shot, crack. R&R. [Rated T only for swearing]


**Friendly Advice**

Author's Note: This is my first Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin fic. I love yumikuri to death. This is mostly a crack fic. It kind of had a mind of its own. I hope you enjoy it!

**Warning: There are a few manga spoilers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan/ Shingeki no Kyojin. All characters are used with respect.

* * *

Ymir walked into the courtyard outside the high school, pocketing her hands and glancing around. Christa was nowhere to be found. That was no surprise. She generally stayed after class to ask her teachers any questions she had about the lesson, the nerd. Ymir honestly had nothing against working hard or getting good grades, but when school was over she wanted to leave the building right away. There were so many better things she could be doing than spending extra time in a place like that.

Although she wanted to go home and play video games, Ymir was not going to leave without Christa. She always walked her younger companion home because Christa was so pretty that all the guys were always hounding her. They were never crass, always treating her like a Goddess and falling at her feet, but Ymir was not willing to let any of them get close to her.

As she walked through the courtyard toward her usual waiting spot, Ymir noticed a group of boys sitting against a nearby brick wall. They were all her classmates, but she rarely spoke to most of them.

There was Reiner, a giant loser who was 100% obsessed with two things: breaking things and dating Christa. He seriously loved breaking things. Ymir was pretty sure she had seen him kicking a wall over and over once, trying to break a hole in it with his foot. In spite of his idiocy, Reiner was pretty popular. He was very strong-willed, never giving up on something once he started, and he got along with just about everyone. Ymir had always felt suspicious that he was trying to hard to gain everyone's trust, like he was hiding something, but it was none of her business. Beside Reiner was Bertolt. He was another giant, towering over everyone else, and rumor had it he was an incredible fighter, but Ymir had never seen him lift a finger. He honestly seemed kind of shy, backing down whenever he had the chance. Standing next to Bertolt was Jean, a hot-headed idiot who pretty much always spoke his mind and never backed down from a challenge, even if he was going to lose. The fourth member of the group was Connie. He was really short, but Ymir recalled that he was pretty funny and upbeat most of the time.

Ymir was about to pass by the group when she heard Reiner insist, "Christa is in love with me. She wants to date me _so_ badly."

Connie snickered. "Yeah, right. You just want us to be jealous."

"Christa's so sweet. If she were going to love anyone, it would be Bertolt," Jean argued, added quietly, "Or me."

"What?" Reiner gasped. "Why Bertolt?"

"He's sweet like she is," Connie grinned, elbowing Bertolt in the side. "Right?"

Bertolt nearly blushed, shaking his head. "I'm sure she likes Reiner more."

That was another thing that annoyed Ymir. Literally every guy was in love with Christa and she did not get it. Well, she got it, but seriously _every_ guy.

Annoyed and feeling particularly bored, Ymir crossed the courtyard, joining the group with a sly grin. "Hey. What are you guys talking about?"

"Christa," Reiner exclaimed, perking up. "You're friends with her, right?"

Ymir smiled vaguely. "Why are you talking about Christa?"

Connie, who was the only one in the group that really knew Ymir at all, was already frowning. He tried to send Reiner a meaningful look, but the giant teenager ignored him.

"Christa has a crush on me," Reiner replied proudly. "It's so obvious. She's always hanging around me during home economics class. She blushes whenever I look at her and she's so sweet to me."

"Wow," Ymir exclaimed, eyes narrowing slightly even though her smile remained in place. "So, I guess you like her too?"

Connie was now avidly shaking his head and mouthing 'no', but Reiner was not looking at him.

"Are you okay, man?" Jean whispered with wide eyes.

"It's hopeless," Connie sighed.

"I'm in love with her," Reiner replied, shocking his friends. "She's a Goddess. I just want her to marry me."

Ymir nodded like that was perfectly reasonable as she leaned against the nearest wall with a smirk. "So, are you going to ask her out?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how." Reiner brightened as he turned toward Ymir. "You're friends with her. Can you tell me anything that would help?"

"You know," Connie interrupted, "You can probably figure it out on your own."

Bertolt raised his brow at Connie and Jean asked if he was okay again.

"Of course, I'll help." Ymir grinned, patting his shoulder. "The first thing you need to know about Christa is that she really likes brave guys who aren't afraid of heights."

"What?" Reiner raised his brows.

"So specific..." Bertolt and Jean murmured at the same time, amazed.

"Yeah, one time I heard her say she would only consider dating a guy if she knew for sure he wasn't afraid of heights," Ymir went on, glancing around. "You know how you could really get her attention? You should climb on top of something. Then when she comes out of the school she'll see you and know you're perfect for each other."

"Climb something?" Reiner furrowed his brows. "You mean like walk on top of the fence?"

"Anyone can do that," Ymir scoffed, a sly look crossing her features. "You should climb something higher."

Connie furrowed his brows, torn between wanting to say something and wanting to see how it all turned out.

"Is there anything around here that he can climb?" Jean asked, secretly wanting to complete the task himself. There were another girl that he liked more than Christa, but he had no chance with her and Christa was a catch.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Bertolt asked with a frown. "You could just ask her outright."

"That won't work. Trust me," Ymir assured him. "Reiner, you're going to have to climb something. How about the flag pole?"

Connie covered his mouth to keep from laughing.

"The flag pole?" Reiner frowned, glancing across the school yard.

"That's a great idea!" Jean exclaimed, grinning. "If you won't climb it, I will."

"What?" Reiner narrowed his eyes. "You want to go out with Christa too?"

Bertolt blushed lightly. "I'll climb it too."

Reiner glared at his friend. "So, she'll have to choose between the three of us?"

Jean nodded, smirking at Connie. "Are you in?"

Connie shook his head, struggling not to roll his eyes. "I'll sit this one out."

"There's Christa now," Ymir gasped as dramatically as she could, pointing to the beautiful blonde who had just walked out of the school. Though she knew for a fact that Christa was looking for her, she murmured, "Look how lost she looks. She's just waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet."

All three of them gasped.

"What if it doesn't work?" Reiner asked with a frown. "What if she isn't impressed?"

"Then I'll show you guys exactly how to sweep a girl off her feet," Ymir replied, feigning a friendly smile. "I promise."

Reiner sighed, considering it.

"What are you waiting for? Now's your chance," Ymir insisted. "I'll go get Christa and make sure she's looking at the flag pole. I bet she'll date whoever gets to the top first."

The three boys shared a look before they raced for the flagpole.

Connie shook his head as he watched them race away. He turned to Ymir and sighed, "You're cruel."

"Oh, come on. You want to see how this turns out," Ymir replied with a smirk.

He could not argue with her, so he merely headed toward the flag pole.

Ymir laughed to herself as she walked back through the courtyard, heading for the front of the school where Christa was still looking around hopelessly. Anyone else probably would have just began walking home when they saw that no one was waiting for them, but Christa was so loyal. She would probably have stayed until the next morning.

"Ymir, there you are!" Christa gasped, smiling and waving. "I have something for you."

Distracted from her plot, Ymir raised her brows. She tried to feign indifference. "You mean like a present?"

Christa nodded, tugging a hand-knit blue scarf from her bag. "I knitted this for you. I've been working on it for a while. I don't want you to get cold in the winter."

Ymir's eyes widened and she tried to hide the flush that spread across her cheeks. The words slipped out before she could stop them, "Marry me already."

"What?" Christa blushed.

"Nothing," Ymir exclaimed hastily, wrapping the scarf around her neck. "Let's go home. I'm bored."

"Christa!" A loud shout erupted through the courtyard.

_Oops_. How quickly this beautiful Goddess could make her forget.

"Christa, look!"

Everyone in the courtyard turned with gasps of surprise. Christa followed their gaze and her cheeks paled. "Ymir, what are they doing?!"

Ymir turned to the side, shrugging. "Who knows? They're idiots."

"That's not nice," Christa grumbled, hurrying toward the flagpole. She glanced up, watching with worried eyes as Reiner, Jean, and Bertolt all struggled to touch the top of the pole, pushing each other down slightly. It was clear that they had all shimmied to the top.

"Christa, look at me!" Reiner shouted, grinning. "I'm not afraid of anything, especially not heights."

"What is he talking about?" Christa asked curiously.

"Like I said, they're idiots," Ymir replied, smirking faintly.

"Christa, I'm not afraid of heights either!" Jean shouted.

Bertolt did not look afraid, but from the expression on his face, he was clearly trying to figure out how he had been convinced to climb to the top of the flagpole.

"Come down from there!" Christa shouted suddenly. "It's dangerous."

"No, we did this to prove ourselves!" Reiner shouted, chest puffing out with pride.

"What?" Christa's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want to declare my undying love for—"

"Hey, Christa," Ymir interrupted. "Come here."

"What?" Christa turned to face the taller teen.

Ymir placed her hands on the sides of her face and leaned down to kiss her lips. The entire courtyard quieted. Ymir was pretty sure she could have heard pins dropping, but she did not pull away. Christa leaned into her, caught off guard but standing on her tiptoes to better meet Ymir's lips. The kiss was long and slow, causing both teenagers to blush as they finally pulled apart.

Christa looked embarrassed. "W-What was that for? Everyone's staring at us."

"What, a girl can't just kiss her girlfriend in front of everyone?" Ymir asked with a shrug, wrapping her arm around her shoulders. "I'm bored. Let's go already."

"But how will they get down?" Christa gasped. "What if they get hurt or need help?"

Reiner was already sliding down the flagpole at the speed of light.

"Look at them. They're fine." Ymir tugged Christa through the crowd, a firm glare enough to make everyone step out of their way.

With a shrug, Christa leaned close to Ymir, wrapping her arms around her waist as she begged, "Can we stop at the ice cream shop on the way? Please?"

"I want to play video games."

"But I want ice cream," Christa whined.

"Fine."

* * *

"Ymir, get back here!" Reiner shouted angrily, dropping off of the pole.

"Reiner, wait," Bertolt gasped, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"Don't stop him. Ymir tricked us," Jean cried angrily.

Connie stood nearby, sipping a coke. "You guys are so dumb. Why would you tell _Ymir_ that you like Christa?"

"Are you saying you knew about them and didn't warn us?!" Reiner snapped, eyes widening.

Connie took a nervous step back. "H-Hey now, I _tried_ to get your attention."

A figure suddenly loomed over the three of them. It was Levi, the short but extremely intimidating history teacher.

"Did I just see you idiots on the top of the flagpole?" Levi snapped furiously. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? I'm giving you detention for a week—no, for a month!"

"What?" Jean growled. "That's so unfair. Ymir's the one who told us to climb the flagpole."

"Next time don't listen!" Levi snapped. "I'll see you in detention tomorrow at three."

As he stormed away, they were sure they heard him add, "_You little shits._"

Bertolt deflated. "I didn't even really want to date Christa that badly. I'd rather be with Annie..."

"I'd rather be with Mikasa..." Jean grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Then why did you both fight over her?" Reiner demanded.

"Everyone knows Annie and Mikasa like each other," Jean mumbled miserably. "We don't have a chance with either of them."

Connie rolled his eyes. They really were idiots.

* * *

"Ymir, what was Reiner about to say before you kissed me?" Christa asked, tilting her head curiously. "It sounded like he was going to confess to someone."

"Huh?" Ymir raised her brows, thinking quickly on her feet. "Oh, he was probably going to confess to Bertolt."

"What?" Christa eyes widened. "Why did he want everyone to watch?"

"Beats me." Ymir leaned back in her seat, taking a spoonful of ice cream from their shared sundae. "He was definitely confessing to Bertolt though. They're always together, Bertolt is always blushing—it makes perfect sense."

"You're right." Christa brightened cheerfully. "I should bake them cupcakes with rainbow frosting to congratulate them."

Ymir had to bite her own tongue to keep from laughing. "That's a great idea."

"You really think so?" Christa grinned eagerly.

"Yeah. They'll love it."

"I'm so excited. I'll make them tonight!"

* * *

The next morning, Christa walked into Levi's classroom on her way to homeroom holding a small box of cupcakes. She brightened when she spotted Reiner, Bertolt, Connie, and Jean sitting together in the back of the room. Skipping through the desks, she immediately set the closed box in front of Reiner.

Reiner looked up with surprise. "Christa?"

"Hi," Christa giggled, pushing the box toward him. "I baked these for you."

"What?" Reiner's eyes practically turned to hearts. "You baked for me?"

Christa nodded, touching his shoulder. "I couldn't stop thinking about the flagpole. It was so brave of you to climb all the way up there to confess your feelings, and it was so sweet of Jean to support you."

"What?" Jean grumbled from behind him.

Reiner looked completely enchanted. "So, does this mean I have a chance?"

"Of course, you do! I think everything's going to work out perfectly for you," Christa replied pleasantly, giggling again. "Anyway, I have to get to class. See you later!"

Christa turned and raced quickly into the hall, not wanting to be late for class.

"She baked cupcakes for you?" Bertolt raised his brows.

"She thinks I was up there to _support_ you?" Jean crossed his arms stubbornly. "What the hell?"

"I can't wait to see what she baked. I _knew_ she was in love with me," Reiner gasped, pulling open the box. He immediately froze, his eyes widening with horror.

"What is it?" Bertolt asked, but when he looked into the box his face turned red.

Jean was the next to look, followed by Connie, and both of them nearly choked as they burst out laughing.

Inside the box were four cupcakes, each with blue frosting and a sugar rainbow on top. Beneath each rainbow, Christa had written in purple frosting, _Reiner x Bertold 4ever_ inside of a cute little heart.

"She didn't spell my name right," Bertolt whispered, hopelessly blushing.

Connie and Jean were still laughing hysterically.

"What is going on over here?" Levi demanded angrily as he crossed the room and looked in the box. When he saw the contents, he merely shook his head, muttering, "Congratulations, but no PDAs in class."

Reiner remained silent, still too shocked to speak as the bell rang.


End file.
